The time is fast approaching for Preston's lip repair and rhinoplasty. Now that it's close, I start to wonder and of course, to worry.
So, instead of worry, I'll tell a story about a birth, my fourth to be exact. It should start at the beginning, last June when we found out we were pregnant. We were THRILLED. Then came the pregnancy induced nausea. Summer was spent at swim lessons and sleeping as much as possible. We survived.
By September, we made 20 weeks & I felt great. We had scheduled our ultrasound at Dr. B's office. We took all the kids, thinking that they would enjoy the experience. They were momentarily fascinated by the baby and then began trying to climb on every surface possible. We saw
our baby! We told the technician first thing that we did NOT want to know the gender--our fun surprise. Baby was covering it's face but the tech continued to the rest of the ultrasound. Look at that heart, so healthy! Four limbs, 20 digits, all organs accounted for, nice looking head & skull! So much good news, we took a sigh and smiled happily at each other. The lady tried for another look at baby's face and then she said, "let me get the dr." I couldn't figure out what we needed him for, as we already saw a healthy baby. She came back and told us she saw a cleft lip. She rechecked everything. Yes, healthy baby, good palate, good nasal bones, possible cleft lip. She said Dr B. would call us. The next day he did. He could see what she saw, but wasn't entirely sure it was the case. I went in again, in a week and he did the ultrasound. We saw the cleft, for sure. I saw
my baby.
Of course, over the next few days I had many questions. At our next visit to the Dr. I asked so many questions. He was very kind. My first question, "I want to nurse this baby, can it happen?" He felt very confident that it would. More good news.
I am a worrier and a planner. With this pregnancy there were so many things that we didn't know for sure and couldn't plan for. I felt a peace throughout the pregnancy which was such a blessing to me. I was able to just put the worry away and focus on a healthy pregnancy, baby, and my other kids. I did begin to look for a children's hospital and surgeon, knowing that we wouldn't be able to stay local for any cleft repairs. One evening I felt prompted to look into Shriner's hospital. The location in Portland does cleft repairs, which is amazing because they have about six children's specialties. I made appointments and sent paperwork.
Throughout the pregnancy I had told my Dr. that I'd had two water births without pain meds, one unsuccessful attempt at an epidural on my 3rd (and in the end a natural delivery) and I just wanted to do whatever felt right. Go into labor on my own, labor at home as long as possible and have him do the delivery. My other babies had come progressively earlier, the third being at 38 wks.3 days. I was convinced that this one was coming by 38 weeks. At 37 weeks my parents left for New Zealand. I made arrangements for my kids. At 38 weeks my house was totally clean and organized. By 39 weeks I was begging the Dr. to induce me. He said he would, on my due date. Home to clean and organize some more. All the early labor I had been having, STOPPED. I walked and cleaned and sat on my birthing ball. No labor.
On Wednesday, February 2nd. We went to the hospital. They had a room waiting for us. The nurse started I.V. and pitocen. I started right into labor. " Oh you'll be fast" They came, those contractions, and I remembered
, this is labor. I was doing well. They came every three minutes, I was riding the waves and thinking about my baby, and enjoying some alone time with KC. We talked about names, boy or girl?
Finally, six hours later, we discovered that my body was no more dilated than it was when we arrived that morning. I look at KC and said, "I think I want to try that epidural." Another Dr. comes and when he leaves, I feel warm and comfortable, just barely noticing the contractions. I had been so worried about trying the epidural. Thinking that somehow, having it would negate all of my natural births. I learned that it didn't. Those births taught me things that I needed to know. About my body, my mind, my strength & my capabilities as a woman/mother. They brought me to a place of feeling secure. Secure enough to make my own choices and know my own body. I
knew this time, that I wanted the induction and epidural. It was good.
By 10 pm Dr. B was there and waiting. I finally said, "I'm ready to push, let's see this baby"
Dr. said, "when you're ready, I'm waiting, and KC, gown up and deliver your baby." KC quickly did and got into position. After two pushes (i'm a champion pusher) baby was out, daddy placed him on my chest. I kissed that dark little head and looked into those big eyes and I
knew this boy.
Dr. said, "let's get a look, girl or boy?" but
I knew, he was my Preston boy. We checked him out, and confirmed. A nurse quickly checked his palate to make sure it was intact. I looked at my boy and offered him my milk,
and he nursed. The room quickly emptied, leaving the three of us, to learn of each other and offer a prayer of thanksgiving for our beautiful boy.
I'd often wondered how that cleft would look. But I can
honestly say, I don't see the cleft. I look at my baby boy, and I see
perfection. His smile is just
his. Just the same as his dimples, or all of that dark hair. I wouldn't trade that clefty grin for anything.
That's the start of Preston's story. His happy arrival into our family. The rest of his story is in the making....
